Saturday, March 17, 2012

Day 6 - part one

We have two beds in our hotel room. Tasia is sleeping with me because she needs to feel close to me right now. We tried to go to bed around 10 as we were so exhausted but she began pouring her heart out to me about what it's like to be her. I can't even type this without crying...

She told me that a lot of the time when we are all having fun as a family she gets really bad pain but just makes her self keep smiling so that nobody knows she's hurting and then everyone keeps smiling and laughing.

Tears!!! She is way stronger than she should need to be. It makes me wonder how many times she was hurting and I never knew. I hate that! I hate this stupid disease for robbing her of precious childhood moments. If we didn't need the organ for the transplant part of the surgery I would want to stomp on it after it was out of her. I feel as of she has had an enemy living inside of her. I am happy that Isaac and I are the ones to free her of this. It wasn't the most trusted GI we've had for 8 years it was her parents deciding to take control of this ourselves and make this whole nightmare stop! I don't need a physician to hold my hand and point us to the experts... I found them myself and the Great Physician led me here for such a time as this!

We also talked about how for the rest of her life she would have to take enzymes every time she eats and for the first 6 months give herself insulin shots when she eats. I told her that she didn't have to explain to other kids at school what she was taking that she could just say they were "vitamins". She doesn't need to explain the story to every child that asks (cuz you know they all will.) But she said, "No Mama, I want to tell them the reasons because I want them to know the REAL me".

Again, tears.... How did I get so lucky to have such an amazing little girl? She's proud of what she is beating. And she should be! I've said it before and I will continue all my life.... Tasia is my hero!

And I will close with this last thing for this morning... I can truly feel the presence of God wrapping his arms around me and Tasia right now. Your prayers are most definitely working! Don't think that your prayer is insignificant because they are being answered and we are stronger because of them. Each morning since we have arrived I wake up with an intense stress related belly ache and anxiety. This morning I just began praying and asking God to give me physical and emotional strength to endure till we pass through the fire and I began saying over and over - "they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they will mount up with wings like eagles." I probably repeated that 30 times. And within moments all physical pain completely stopped and a peace filled the room. Thank you Jesus for caring for us! Thank you for your immediate help this morning and thank you for never leaving us... We couldn't do it without You.