Friday, March 30, 2012

Day 19 in MN, Post OP Day 8

Today was a great day!  Tasia woke up feeling good. Walked to the bathroom (very slowly) and brushed her teeth. Sat in the chair for about 6 hours talking to people, watching movies and even had a back massage by a massage therapist. She got a package of happy goodies and a new teddy bear from my friend Whitney, flowers from my amazing work, and 3 cards. It was happy and made her smile! Not bad for being in the hospital.

Her pain was controlled throughout the night last night with the new med rates and I fell asleep praying that the pain team and docs would be on board to continue this new rate.  I kept meditating on the scripture - 

 “Be not afraid nor dismayed...for the battle is not yours, but God’s....Ye shall not need to fight .”
(2 Chronicles 20:15, 17)  

I decided that like the mama bear guarding her baby I would firmly stand my ground of protection and then let God give wisdom to their hearts to do the right thing.
  When they all arrived this morning I stood my ground and insisted that this was the minimum amount of pain control she needed and they said that they agreed and would even consider going higher if need be.  Thank you Lord!

 I'm so thankful that we have the Word to comfort us and save us all the anxiety and worry when, if we trust Him, He will make sure it gets taken care of. Trust is such a big thing with God. I wish I would have learned to trust Him so much more before I was forced to.  It hasn't been terribly hard or scary though.  I just decided to give it over to Him because I was confident that physically and emotionally I would collapse if I tried to handle it on my own. I know he loves her more than I do and I know His growl is louder than mine. So He's got it covered just like His word assured me He did.

The night before surgery and the morning of I thought I might just start screaming uncontrollably at turning my baby over to these men and women I hardly know. I had fear and anxiety on how I would handle those two moments in time. But you know how I got through them? I turned to the Word and found comfort and strength. I never screamed but I cried a deep righteous anger cry. I cried that my baby had to go through this. But at the same time I rejoiced that I was able to give her this opportunity for healing and a pain free life.

 I still feel overwhelmed at times but I immediately turn to the Word and get my dose of comfort and strength.  Why do I tell you these intimate details of our journey? Because I know there are others getting ready for surgery or facing some ugly giant that gives them fear and anxiety and I know that here in lies the answer. I've waited patiently on the Lord for almost 13 years now (between Isaac and Tasia) and on March 22, 2012 He answered my cry.